October 17th, 2008


Life is so busy

I read my last entries, and one about Cory just made me start crying all over again, I went an entire year feeling ugly and unwanted, I don't even know why I would do that to myself.  Re-reading it, everything I felt then, I still feel.  I don't think I feel anything anymore.  When I kiss someone it generates the same amount of happiness brushing my hair or making a pot of coffee does.  I miss my friends, both real life and WoW friends.  I was really happy for the first time a week or so ago when I hung out at Yans' place, but havnt been invited back, or asked to hang out.  I don't know what to do to prove my worth to my friends, but I don't feel like anyone ever wants to have me over for fun. Even my best freind since 3rd grade doesnt call me or invite me to go out.  But I'm always the first to get called if anything exciting happens, or to hear about the parties she goes to or the fun nights out she has.  I feel so estranged and lonely, I don't know what to do besides to keep trying and waiting for somone to want to treat me like a freind.

Oh ya and lately my hate of being crippled has quadroupled.